How often do we tell ourselves ‘what good listeners we are’?  As well meaning as we tend to think we are, often times we’re reminded by someone or some project, that we may need a refresher course.  These examples are textbook.  This is what we were taught and it’s use is essential in communicating effectively.

We are always hearing but listening involves more than just the ears.  Keep your eyes and ears focused on your subject. A smile and a nod will go a long way to assure your conversational partner that you haven’t fallen asleep standing up or that you’re thinking ahead.  Actively participate in hearing.  You will have your time to speak.

If you’re listening to someone frantic or puzzled, it’s obvious that either you missed something that was said or something indicated by their body language.  That’s where those eyes come into play.  See the whole picture, not just the lips moving.  Maybe they’re just having a bad day or perhaps excited to tell you about the newest thing in technology that your medical facility should invest in.  It would stink to pass up on a hint of something that important, just to find it out 3 years too late.

Bite your tongue and stop thinking of a response before you even have a chance to hear what’s being said.  It may be the tone of the conversation that has you getting defensive and coming up with an excuse, when in fact, everything that needs addressing is being said to you and you’re missing it.

Remember when I said you’d have your turn to speak?  Well, use that time effectively.  Imagine a time you were upset by receiving something you really wanted, like that perfectly cooked rare steak and it came out medium.  How great would it be to hear a response by the waitstaff that noticed your disappointed look, ‘Sir/Ma’am, Is there an issue?  I would love to make your disappointment go away.’  Wow, you didn’t even get to complain and your waitress got a giant tip!

If you are using the above talents of watching and really hearing, you may be able to head off the same disappointment from one of your coworkers or clients.  It might even be someone in your family.  Effective listening isn’t limited to business.  Every conversation is a great time to practice.  And we all know, Practice makes Perfect!